The Holidays Can Be Hard: Supporting Yourself and Others Living With PTSD or Trauma

The holidays are often described as joyful, meaningful, and full of connection. For many people living with PTSD, trauma exposure, or chronic stress, they can feel anything but.

Crowded rooms, loud noises, disrupted routines, alcohol, expectations, and emotional conversations can all place extra demand on an already taxed nervous system. For veterans, first responders, trauma survivors, and even children with sensory or emotional regulation challenges, the holidays can amplify what’s already difficult.

A “happy holiday” doesn’t mean forcing cheer. It means creating conditions where safety, choice, and connection are possible.

Why the Holidays Can Be So Challenging After Trauma

Trauma changes how the brain and nervous system respond to stimulation. PTSD isn’t about weakness or mindset. It’s about a system that learned to stay alert to survive.

During the holidays:

• Noise and crowds can trigger hypervigilance

• Family dynamics can activate old emotional patterns

• Sleep schedules are disrupted

• Alcohol can worsen mood regulation

• Expectations to “be okay” add pressure

Understanding this reframes the experience. Someone struggling during the holidays isn’t ungrateful or difficult. Their nervous system is working overtime.

If You’re Living With PTSD or Trauma: Gentle Ways to Get Through the Holidays

You don’t need to do everything. You don’t need to explain everything. You’re allowed to protect your energy.

A few grounding principles:

• Keep routines where you can, especially sleep and meals

• Build in exits. Drive yourself. Step outside. Take breaks

• Limit alcohol. It often worsens symptoms even if it feels helpful at first

• Eat regularly. Blood sugar swings affect mood and stress tolerance

• Give yourself permission to leave early or not attend at all

Regulation matters more than tradition. A regulated nervous system is what allows connection to happen.

If You’re Hosting or Spending Time With Someone Who’s Struggling

You don’t need to fix them. You just need to reduce pressure.

Helpful approaches:

• Don’t force conversation or participation

• Avoid “Why don’t you just…” advice

• Offer quiet spaces and clear expectations

• Let them know it’s okay to step away

• Keep plans flexible and low-key when possible

Sometimes the most supportive thing you can say is:

“You don’t have to perform here.”

A Simple Holiday Reach-Out List

This season is a good time to intentionally check in on people who may be carrying more than they show. Consider reaching out to:

• A veteran or first responder you haven’t heard from in a while

• Someone who’s lost a loved one or experienced a major life change

• A parent caring for a child with special needs

• A friend who tends to withdraw during the holidays

• Someone who “always says they’re fine”

A simple message is enough:

“Thinking of you. No pressure to respond.”

Connection doesn’t require fixing. Presence matters.

For Parents: Supporting Kids With Trauma or Sensory Challenges

Children often show stress through behavior rather than words. During the holidays:

• Keep expectations simple

• Prepare them ahead of time for changes

• Allow sensory breaks

• Stick to familiar foods when possible

• Focus on safety and regulation, not perfection

Kids don’t need magical holidays. They need predictable ones.

Redefining a “Good” Holiday

A good holiday isn’t one where everything goes perfectly. It’s one where people feel safe enough to be themselves.

For those living with PTSD or trauma, healing often means learning that rest is allowed, boundaries are respected, and connection doesn’t require performance.

If the holidays are hard this year, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means your system is asking for care.

You’re Not Alone

At Brain Treatment Center NoVA, we work with veterans, first responders, families, and individuals navigating PTSD, trauma, TBI, autism, and chronic stress. Recovery doesn’t happen in a single season, and it doesn’t require pushing through.

If this time of year is heavy, reach out. To someone you trust. To a professional. Or simply to someone who will sit with you where you are.

Sometimes that’s the most meaningful gift.